


Here for you

by ShipperOfFiction



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Character Death, Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 14:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperOfFiction/pseuds/ShipperOfFiction
Summary: Adam showing up randomly on her door step in the middle of the night was not something Kim was expecting.OrThe one where Adam is there for Kim during a hard time, and tries his best to comfort and help her. Romance, hidden feelings, angst and trouble ensues.Set during the episode "What Could Have Been", episode 19, season 6.





	Here for you

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this is my first ever chicago pd fanfic, but I looooved the episode what could have been, and I loved all the little burzek moments so, this is what I wished happened during it lol, oh and I suck at summaries so sorry about that!

She wasn't expecting this. Not at all.

In all honesty, from the moment she discovered Blair's bloodied body on the dirty Chicago street to when he was pronounce dead on his way to the hospital, everything was kind of a haze and foggy inside her mind. Everything became so hard to predict, she felt like her mind basically became a jumbled mush of incoherent thoughts. The one thing she would never see coming though, was the fact Adam trying to go out of his way to bring her the slightest of comforts. Her heart would throb wildly whenever he took out of his time to speak to her during the investigation, trying to cheer her up while patting her back or softly squeezing her arm, shooting sympathetic smiles her way, though she could see a bit of tightness on his lips and a tint of sadness in his chocolate eyes.

However, now in the middle of the night, never did she expect the sudden knock at the door, interrumpting the session of self loathing she was carrying out on her couch, her mood matching the rainy skies outside, to be Adam himself. From the door's peep hole, Kim could make out his figure, he was standing awkwardly right outside the door, holding what seemed to be a bag of groceries in his left hand and a six pack of beer in the other, and were those backpack straps on his shoulders? She could feel the blood rushing to her ears, memories of the night Adam showed up at her door step rushed to her mind, the moment the world froze around her when he confessed he liked her, the sweet moment their lips met in a passionate kiss, when he carried her to her bedroom, when they ripped each other's clothes off and- She rapidly shook her head. 'No no no! Stop it Kim, now is seriously not the time to be think about that!' She scolded herself, she could not believe the thoughts rushing to her head when the fact that her lover was killed just a few days ago. Even if Kim was going to end things with him, he was still someone important to her, it just didn't feel right having these ludicrous thoughts.

A second, more desperate knock, brought Kim back down to earth, and she realized she was just standing in front of the door and never actually opened up to Adam. Mentally slapping herself, she took a deep breath and tried to look as neutral as posible. Gripping the door knob with slightly sweaty palms, she twisted the lock and gingerly opened the door.

"Adam." She gave a slight smile.

"Hey." He looked at her with those soft, warm eyes and nudged his head toward inside of her appartment, silently asking of he could step inside. With a slight nod, Kim opened the door wider for him. When he walked by her, the smell of his cologne lingered in the air, something she found comforting.

She closed her eyes, not knowing how she felt. Partially she was slightly happy he was here, being alone in the appartment for hours meant she was alone to cry her eyes out and drown in a cest pool of self hate, sadness and anger. She had taken ruthless beatings on her own mind, questioning herself over and over and dreaming up a million scenarios, all ranging from her leaving that God forsaken bar earlier to look for Blair, to her being shot too if she found him at the wrong time. But at the same time, she felt guilty. She felt like a burden to him, he came to her without her even asking him to, he could've been doing something so much more important than being here right now.

Maybe he could've been with Hailey right now.

Immediately, she felt a tug in her heart. When she had accidentaly stumbled upon their secret, it had cut her deep. Of course, Adam was no longer hers, he was free to be with whoever he wanted. But she thought they were still close friends, so it definitely stung he hadn't trusted her enough to confide in her. But somewhere, deep inside her heart, it hurt he was happy with someone else, someone she knew and considers a friend. It saddened her he didn't need her anymore, he hasn't been needing her since, well, God knew how long.

She remembered when she and Hailey were kidnapped, how she was almost choked to death while Hailey was beaten to a pulp. She remembered how Antonio and Adam rushed in, Adam went to her to ask if she was okay, but then he rushed to Hailey's side and hugged her close to him, comforting her with his soft and desperate touches, while she was left standing alone, neck on fire, no one to hug her and tell her everything was okay.

Suddenly, she felt hends on her shoulders, whipping her around. She was met with a worry stricken Adam, his eyes searching hers.

"Jesus Kim, you scared me! I've been calling you for the past ten minutes from your room," Adam sighed deeply, his grip on her loosening slightly, "Are you okay?"

Kim felt her cheeks heat up, was she really that out of it that she didn't even hear him calling her? Did she really stand on her door way staring outside like a freak? God. "I-I'm sorry, I just got lost in thought and-" Then it hit her. "...Did you say you were calling me from my room?" Now it was Adam's turn to blush.

"Yeah, sorry. I brought a few things and thought you wouldn't mind if I put them in your room." He smiled awkwardly, releasing her and stepping to the side, closing the agap door and locked it. Noticing her shocked features as she stared at him, he coughed a little and headed for the kitchen. "What were you thinking about?"

She snapped out of her trance, still feeling his rough hands on her smooth skin. "Um... you know, just everything about the last few days." She lied. "What did you bring anyway? And what are you doing here so late? It's," She looked at the clock on her coffee table, "almost eleven pm." Reality set in. Adam randomly showed up at her door with a bunch of bags in the middle of the night and he went into her room like if this was his home, what did he do in there anyway? She followed him to the kitchen and leaned against the counter.

"Ah, well. Just some clothes and shoes... I want to stay here a few days." He answered softly, picking up the beer and groceries he brought with him, ignoring the way Kim's jaw went completely slack. He occupied himself with taking everything out of the bag while Kim processed his statement.

Kim couldn't believe what she just heard, Adam wanted to stay here? Her mouth closed and re-opened, like a fish fresh out of water, before finally mustering up a coherent sentence. "Y-You want to stay... h-here?"

Adam chuckled awkwardly, pausing his actions and turning to face her. He took a moment to stare at her, she looked paler than usually, her hair was loose and flowing down to her shoulders. Her eyes were locked on his face, they were a little swollen and blood red, he saw so many emotions running through them, he noticed she was gripping the marble counter she leaned on. He also noticed she was only wearing a blue tank top and black cotton shorts. He swallowed and diverted his eyes.

"Yeah... Listen, I'm just really worried about you, I really didn't want to leave you here alone any longer, all swallowed up in your mind, horrible thought everywhere. I... want to keep you company and help you feel better." He gave a sad smile. "I brought you ice cream, chocolate and a few sweets. And some microwavable food too. I also rented some movies we could watch, and I got'cha beer." At that he threw her a wink, to which she reacted to by letting out a sudden laugh. Adam grinned and proceeded to put away the ice cream in the freezer.

"Sounds like you already made up your mind," Kim started, all laughter forgotten, she moved her fingers towards her tank top and played with a lose thread, head bowed. "I truly appreciate this Adam, but what about your other priorities? What about...Hailey?" Kim croaked out, her name felt heavy on her tongue. At the mention of Hailey, Adam froze up. He sighed and clenched his jaw. He grabbed the movies he brought, along with two beers and finished up putting everything in the fridge. He turned to face Kim. "Come on." He turned to walk to the living room, Kim in tow.

Adam sat on the couch, dumping the movies on the table and taking his boots off. Kim sat on the opposite end, thanking herself for throwing away all the used tissues when she was having her fifth crying fit. She tucked her legs under her and waited for Adam to open the beer cans. He handed one to her, momentarily brushing against her fingers, before grabbing his own, opening it and taking a big gulp.

She waited patiently for him to talk, noticing the tight navy blue jeans and the plain black t-shirt he was sporting were littered with small rain drops. His hair was slightly disheveled and she could see his features were a bit tight. "Adam?" She called out when more than two minutes passed and he hadn't uttered a word. He looked at her, a dark mist clouding his eyes.

"Me and Hailey had a fight." He finally said, taking a sip of his beer. Kim's eyebrows shot upwards, surprised by his words. She leaned over and placed the red can on the table, only a few sips taken. "I'm sorry Adam, you alright? What happened?" She crossed her arms and looked at him firmly. 'I like how ironic it is he came to help me and my problems but now I'll be listening to his.' She mentally chuckled.

Adam nodded and finished up his beer quickly in a few chugs, putting the can in the same manner as Kim on the table. With one leg under the other, Adam put his hands behind his head and leaned far back on the couch, looking at the ceiling. "Well, everything began when we were called in about Blair. Me and her were... caught up with something... private..." Kim internally cringed at that. Adam coughed a little and carried on. "She wasn't too happy we had to stop and fly over to the scene. But it's cool, I understood her. But then, she started getting annoyed whenever I left her for a bit to talk to you, made sure you were okay, she got annoyed whenever we left work and I mentioned you and my concern to her. It bothered me she'd get annoyed but I let it pass. Yesterday I started over thinking about what you'd be doing all alone here, and I panicked thinking you'd be extremely depressed or consumed by bad thoughts, or worse, that you'd do something. I mentioned it to Hailey and she got so mad she ignored me basically. But today, I was at her place, I had some stuff of mine over there so I started packing up, when she saw me getting my backpack ready, she asked what I was doing."

He took a pause to close his eyes, meanwhile Kim was trying to process everything, her eyes were wide. He continued. "I told her I was gonna stay with you for a while, to make sure everything was okay and that you knew you weren't alone. But she freaked, went ballistic. She started saying all kinds of shit, like how you didn't need me, how you could take care of yourself, that it was just a high school crush with Blair. She started to remind me of the things you've done, how I was giving you way more attention than her, that it looked like I still loved you. I guess I picked a bad day to forget that tonight we had a date, which she said I forgot cause I was too busy chasing after you." He chuckled dryly, risking a look at Kim. Her head was bowed so he couldn't see the anger and shock on her face.

Adam stared at her another hot second before continuing. "So, anyway, I got tired of her yelling and said I was gonna stay with you, that I'm just looking out for a close friend who needs someone right now. I picked my crap up and left, she slammed the door behind me and said that if I came here, I shouldn't go back. I got to my car, stopped at a super market to get some food, went to a movie place and rented every comedy I could find and drove straight here. I came to your door and thought to myself, is this really a good idea? I was thinking over if I should or shouldn't knock, and one second later my knuckles were on your door. And that's about it."

A minute passed. Then two. Then five. Then she lost track.

Kim couldn't even comprehend the words Adam spewed. Hailey actually said all that? She had the decency to talk trash about her? Even after losing the man she was sharing her life with for the past few weeks to a blood thirsty criminal, couldn't a girl get some sympathy?

Honestly, she couldn't even blame Haley, she was equally shocked that Adam would go out of his way to comfort her. She couldn't even begin to imagine how Haley felt, especially if she knew the history she and Adam shared, but to be able to go so low as to claim that what she had with Blair was just a little high school crush and to remind Adam of their past relationship was just a low blow.

She dared to shoot Adam a look. His eyes were shut tightly, clenched fists resting on his thighs. All he was trying to do was help her and Hailey couldn't empathize with that? Kim suddenly felt a sense of guilt bubbling up in her core. What if all Adam wanted to do right now was be with Hailey? What if he regrets coming here? What if he's blaming Kim for their fight? What if-

"Adam." She called.

"Yeah?" He replied sluggishly.

She lunged forward, violating the invisble wall between them, and hugged him tightly. Both arms went around his neck, face buried in his shoulder. It took Adam a few seconds to get over the inital shock before wraping his arms around her waist, giving her a tight squeeze. Silence fell upon the two, with Kim hugging him tighter from time to time and Adam giving her soft squeezes on her waist and rubbing up his hands up and down her back. But suddenly, a heart-wrenching sob escaped from Kim's lips.

"Oh God Adam, I'm so sorry that you felt obligated to come here, I'm sorry for being the cause of your fight, I'm sorry for being such a burden a-and and-" And so, with sobs escaping from her throat every few seconds, Kim went on and on to describe all the things she was sorry about. She ranged from apologizing for bothering Adam and Hailey when the call came in about Blair, to being the reason that Haley was lashing out at Adam. Suddenly Kim believed that every single problem that has happened in the past few days was a result of her and her weakness, this case was making her go insane and her emotions go haywire. Adam tried to cut her off a few times but it was futile, Kim just kept unleashing all her guilts and troubles upon him. Soon enough, all Adam could do was gently rub her back while scratching her head softly, something he knew would calm her down.

"Kim," Adam called out softly, pushing her shoulders back a bit. Her eyes were glued to her pale thighs. "Kim, look at me." Adam said with authority. When she finally looked up, Adam felt a pang of... something... in his chest. Her eyes were blood shot red, tears still spilling out. Her cheeks were flushed and tear stained, hair sticking to them and to her forehead. She was biting her lip nerviously, hands fidgeting and tucked between her thighs, eyes widly racing over Adam's face. 'She looks so damn broken and fragile...' Adam thought briefly, for a moment Kim looked like a small, defenseless child, mourning the loss of her teddy bear. But this was so much more, he was looking at the woman he loves having a mental breakdown and-

'WOAH WOAH BACK IT UP MAN!' His eyes widened immensely, which produced a questioning look from Kim. 'D-Did I just say... "love"?... What is wrong with me...' Adam shook his head and opened his mouth to speak. "Kim... please, please don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, you cannot posibly blame yourself for anything that's happened, if Hailey has a problem with this then it's her fault, Blair's death wasn't your fault either, feeling down and upset is natural, don't blame yourself for things out of your control! Trust me Kim, if I didn't want to be here, I would've gone somewhere else, I would've stayed with Hailey, I would've walked away from your door. But I didn't, so don't go saying I came here feeling obligated okay?" He took a moment to softly squeeze her hand, "So, how about you go freshen up and I'll make us something to eat, yeah?" He threw her a gentle smile, watching the brunette bob her head up and down.

Kim let out a small smile, whispering a soft "thank you" before giving Adam one last tight hug, he in return bumped his head gently against hers. A minute passed before she let go and dragged herself up from the couch, a few tears glistening near her cheeks, and looked at him with a look in her eyes he couldn't quite name and quietly, shuffled down the hallway.

Adam watched her disappear down the hallway, he watched how her hair gently bounced against her shoulders with every step, and unconsciously, his eyes roamed downwards, down her covered back, to her curves, to her creamy thighs, up to her round-

Adam violently shook his head, mentally screaming at himself. 'WHAT THE HELL RUZEK?! Just fucking stop man, Kim is going through a hard time, she doesn't need you turning all pervert on her, and you're in a commited relationship!' He stared at his hands, which were resting on his lap, and sighed. His thoughts drifted to his and Hailey's fight.

 

_Flashback_

_Adam dusted off the old brown and black backpack, it's been in the back of Hailey's closet for a while now, more than he'd like to admit anyway. He used a tissue to wipe it a bit and make it look presentable, and started grabbing a few pieces of clothing from the closet, folding them the best he could. After seeing how badly Kim was reacting to this whole situation, he decided what she needed was a friend and a shoulder to cry on, he'd already talked about it with Kevin and Antonio, who were equally worried about her, and they agreed he should look after her in the night, they agreed she'd be more comfortable with him. After tucking his clothes in the backpack, he grabbed his toothbrush, hair gel, two pairs of shoes, his comb and a few boxer shorts. He didn't worry about a towel for bathing or what blanket he'd sleep with, he knew Kim was always prepared for uninvited guests, whenever he randomly decided to sleep over, she'd have fresh towels prepared for him, extra blankets, a backup toothbrush, and she'd even keep clothes he forgot to take with him in case he needed some when he stayed over. She even took a hostage a bottle of cologne he left there once, she never gave it back to him._

_Adam found himself smiling fondly when he remembered the time he was waiting for her on her bed, face planted in her pillow while Kim was brushing her wet locks near the dresser, he was trying to breathe in her scent, but all he was met with was his Nautica Voyage cologne. With a confused look, he turned his head to her nightstand, noticing his cologne bottle was now half empty. He let out a loud laugh, scaring Kim, quite literally, shitless, making her drop her hair brush. After realizing what he was laughing that, she launched at him. All he could do was laugh while she tried to attack him, throwing soft punches and tickles._

_The smile on Adam's face was now slightly casted downwards, sorrow now replacing it. Memories of him and Kim's relationship racing through his mind, where did it all go so wrong? How had they gone from soul mates to just mates?_

_He didn't have time to ponder any longer when an annoyed Hailey burst into the room. "Hey Adam, have you seen my-" From the doorway, her eyes immediately fell upon his bag laying on the bed. She looked at him, her icy sapphires piercing his warm ambers._

_"What are you doing?" She asked bitterly, eyeing the bag as if it were about to explode. Adam sighed and prepared himself mentally for what was to come. "I'm staying with Kim for a while."_

_Silence. Then a twitch of her eye._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"You heard me."_

_"Why on earth are you staying with her Adam? Have you gone insane?!" She all but yelled, stepping fully into the room and throwing the wooden door shut. She leaned against it angrily, arms crossed over her chest._

_"Hailey, she just lost someone important to her, she's all alone and needs someone, okay?" He tried to explain calmly._

_"She needs someone? Really Adam? That just sounds like a lame ass excuse to spend time with her. You do see that all this shit with Blair was nothing but a silly high school fling, right?" She scoffed._

_"Hailey, don't say that crap. Whatever their relationship was, Kim still cared 'bout the guy and he got murdered. You saw how frantic she was at the crime scene and back at intel, God knows what she'll be thinking now that she's alone in her appartment. Around us, Kim tries so hard to put walls around herself, she tries not to throw herself to the floor and sob. And I know she's blaming herself for his death. I can't leave a friend alone."_

_"Are you sure she's just a friend?"_

_If she didn't have a glare in her eye, Adam would've laughed. "Of course she is Hailey. I'm sorry you haven't lost someone recently to understand her."_

_"Adam please, are you some sort of masochist? Or have you forgotten how she basically used you, how she dumped you, how she ran away with someone else? Adam, she doesn't need you and you don't need her! She's an adult, she can fight her own battles and take care of herself." She all but screamed, fists curling tightly._

_Before he could even react, she continued. "I realized that with this whole Blair fiasco, it seems like you still have feelings for her." She unclenched her fists, only to wrap her arms around herself, for a split second she looked like a defenseless child with her eyes casted downwards. But then her eyes reignited in flames, "Do you still love her Adam?"_

_"What-"_

_"DO YOU STILL LOVE HER?" She yelled. "Cause all I'm seeing is someone worried for someone they love. I mean, you're so damn worried about her, so focused on her well being, that you're giving her all your attention and time when she doesn't deserve it, you even forgot we had a date tonight! We were supposed to go to dinner, but I guess you were too busy chasing your ex-fiancée's ass to even remember who you're with right now!"_

_The room went silent._

_Adam's eyes widened, he had completely forgotten they had a date tonight. Well shit. But the words she spoke putting Kim down quickly sunk in, and it made his blood boil._

_He clenched his jaw. "Hailey, I truly am sorry I forgot about our date but you have no right speaking about Kim like that! She's your comrade and friend, we all know she wears her heart on her sleeve, imagine how she feels right now, imagine if she hurts herself or something happens! I'm worried for a friend who's down in the dumps and if you can't bring yourself to feel even a pinch of sympathy for your friend then I can't bring myself to feel bad about forgetting our date."_

_Getting tired of her yelling, Adam grabbed his backpack and stormed out of the room, Hailey hot on his heels throwing more insults his way. Once he reached the front door and gripped a door knob, he breathed deeply and stormed out without a second thought. As soon as he stepped out into the cold, he felt the door slam behind him and a snapish, muffled, "If you go to her, don't you dare come back!" From the other side of the door. His back straightened, he only hestitated for a second before stepping out into the rainy Chicago night. And the rest was history._

_End of flashback_

 

By the time he finished day dreaming, he heard the shower running and almost slapped himself when he remembered he was supposed to make them something to eat. He got up sleepishly, picking up the beer cans left forgotten on the table, and made his way to the kitchen, where he threw away the cans and started to rummage through the goodies he brought in the fridge. It was late after all, so he wasn't gonna make anything too heavy that might upset Kim's stomach. He settled upon, as silly as it might be, microwavable mac n' cheese, he did bring two whole boxes after all.

He set to work quickly, tearing open one box and dumping the contents in seperate ceramic bowls. Adding a cup of water to each, he put Kim's plate first in the microwave. He looked around her kitchen, it was spotless, no used dish in sight, no crumb of food on the floor, he even peeked in her trash, it was empty. He knew Kim would take the trash out every few days, but something nagged at him that she hadn't been eating at all. He glared at the microwave, commanding it to go faster so once Kim stepped into the living room her meal would be ready.

He heard the shower head turn off and sighed in relief, the microwave had just beeped angrily, signaling the macarroni was ready. He took out the hot plate carefully and traded it with his own, punching in the same sequence of numbers. He carefully, and slowly, emptied the remaining water in the sink and tore open the melted cheese packet, pouring it over the macarroni and grabbed a spoon to stirr everything. As soon as the second beep came around, he heard the door to Kim's room creak open. Frantically, he took out the hot plate and poured the water as fast, yet careful, as he could, mixing in the rest of the cheese once he did so.

Once he stuck two forks in each plate, he heard small foot steps padding softly against the oak wood, signaling Kim was about to enter the room. He turned around just in time to see her small frame, and his breath hitched just slightly. Kim was standing near the hallway's door frame, the soft light above made her pale skin slightly glow around her edges. Her wet locks were carefully swept up in a messy yet neat bun, with a few curls and strands escaping near the base of her neck and around the sides of her face. She was wearing an old red V neck flannel, the color faded. The shirt came at a halt just at her mid thighs, Adam could barely see the tight spandex shorts decorating her legs, barely visible under the dip of the flannel. His eyes raked over her body completely, until they landed at her feet, to which he couldn't help but burst out laughing at. Kim's feet were covered by her socks, but the sock on her left foot was pink with white polka dots, meanwhile the sock on her right was green with blue and yellow stripes.

Adam turned around to face the counter once more. Up until the laugh that bubbled up from his chest, Kim was painfully aware of his amber eyes sweeping over her features, she could feel her heart beat increasing ever so, her heart pounding wildly within the confines of her ribs, it was a damn earthquake in there. Her belly wasn't any better, she could feel the butterflies doing their dancing ritual, lots of 'em. It didn't help that she could feel her cheeks positively radiating, she felt hot, her body temperature ignoring the fact she was just under the shower head, taking an ice cold shower merely minutes ago. But once she heard his outburst of a laugh, she immediately calmed down. "Heeey, what are you laughing at?" She asked, faking an interrogatory tone.

"Your socks, why are they so mismatched?" He asked directly with a chuckle. As Adam grabbed two glasses from the dishes, Kim huffed. "Excuse me, leave me and my awesome socks alone! You're just jealous." At this, she stuck her tongue out playfully. All Adam could do was laugh in response while he took a pitcher of water out of the fridge and filled the glasses up with the liquid. The smell of cheese reached Kim's nose, and she furrowed her brows gently. "Hey, what are you doing? It smells like melted cheese or something." She padded over and looked over his shoulder, laying her head softly on his shoulder.

Adam tried not to twist his head to where Kim was resting over and just let out a strangled laugh, the smell of strawberry shampoo and coconut scented soap hot on his nose. "Mac n' cheese." He said gleefully. "Mac n' cheese?" She repeated with a raised brow, to which Adam nodded happily to. "Geez, I haven't eaten that in years." She moved up besides Adam and grabbed the glasses, careful not to spill, and carried them to living room.

Now alone, Adam took a minute to comose himself. He could still smell the coconuty and strawberry scents, he could still feel the pressure of her head on his shoulder, her body slightly pressed against his, he couldn't deny he had missed this, but now was not the time to have these thoughts, Kim was in a bad place and he was in a relationship! He could hear her making herself comfortable back in the living room, so he just shook his head to get rid of his "unpure thoughts" and made his way to her, both plates in his hands.

He took his place on the couch and set the plates down on the table, as Kim looked over the movies he brought. "Scary Movie, Big Mama, Madea's Family Reunion, Deadpool- you really outdid yourself Ruzek," She let out with a laugh, "I appreciate your mission to make me laugh." She flashed a small smile, Adam beyond relieved she was starting to gain some life again, and watched as she surfed through the movies he brought, finally settling Deadpool.

She stood up idly from the couching, hopping over quickly to the DVD player settled under the wall mounted TV. She tossed the remote control to Adam, who catched it swiftly, and opened the case, taking the CD out. As Adam turned the TV on and set it in DVD mode, he couldn't help but let his eyes roam towards Kim bent figure, she was occupying herself by putting the CD in the player, her flannel however, had ridden up significally, exposing her backside covered in spandex to Adam. He had to physically screw his eyes shut when he couldn't tear them away. He couldn't even begin to describe how fucked up this was, what kind of man was he? Checking out the woman he was gonna marry in the past when he is in a relationship in the present, and before coming here, had a fight with said woman in said current relationship, and said woman he was gonna marry was dealing with someone's murder. He was in deep shit.

Suddenly, as he opened his eyes and Kim straightened out, Adam realized something. "Kim," He called out, the brunette turning her head to him in question, "Is that... one of my shirts?" He asked with a small wolfish smirk. Kim's shoulders tensed and her cheeks turned a lovely shade of red, confirming his suspicions. "U-Uh, well I just, y-you know, I had it lying around s-so..." He busted out laughing as she tried to stutter out an explanation, he found this to be adorable. So she had kept some of his clothes, he couldn't believe he hadn't recognized his own shirt earlier!

Before he even realized, Kim practically ran the distance between them, planting herself on her knees on the space next to him and began tickling him madly in the ribs and belly. All Adam could do was try to defend himself while laughing histerically as Kim leaned over his side, body pressed against him. She knew every single weak spot he had and she made sure every poke and squeeze would produce an even bigger laugh. "K-Kim I'm s-sorry ple-ease s-stop!" Adam begged between laughter. He was already out of breath.

"Nah uh, you deserve it for making fun of me." Now she was the one smirking wolfishly, having the man before her completely at her mercy. "I-I wasn't m-making fu-un of you! I j-just found it kinda c-cute!" Kim's motions screeched to a halt, cheeks getting impossibly redder. She was 100% sure she was just as red as Adam, who was trying to catch his breath in desperate pants, his cheeks were flushed, chest heaving, hair sticking up widly due to all the thrashing he did. "You think... I'm cute?" She squeaked out, not knowing what to say. She immediately mentally facepalmed, of course he thinks she's cute, he dated her for God's sake.

Adam gulped as Kim sat back in surprise. He kinda didn't mean to let her know he actually thought that. Did he think that? Yeah, he thought that. "Uh, well... y-yeah, I do, I think it's cute that you're wearing my clothes. You do it often?" Adam offered a small smile, trying to make the air less heavy. He expected Kim to give him a dirty look or to throw him out of her appartment. But all she did was laugh shyly and take the remote from his hands. "Thank you, and yeah, sometimes." Her lips contorted into a barely visible smile, her heart aching, and put the movie on play.

Adam noticed her smile and grinned himself, happy she took it well. He reached over and grabbed the plates, hoping they'd still be warm, and handed one to Kim, who grabbed it with another whisper of 'Thank you'. She held the plate with one hand and grabbed two pillows with the other and put one comfortably on her thighs, handing the to Adam so he could do the same. As he settled the pillow on his lap, Kim took hold of the fork and began to eat very slowly, she hadn't had much of an appetite these last few days, she ate in between at work, and drank lots of coffee cups, but at her place, she could count in one hand all she's eaten.

As the movie began, Kim tried to focus on the scenes before her, her cheeks were still flushed. 'He called me cute.' Kim kept repeating it in her mind, she felt slightly guilty, Adam was technically in a relationship, and while things with her and Blair weren't that serious, she felt guilty she was blushing like a high schooler when their crush talks to them. Not that she had a crush on Adam, well not really, or maybe a little? But not that much, or maybe she did and was denying it, did she really get over him? Of course she did, but why was she gushing and blushing so much? She shook her head slightly, she was overthinking it.

Meanwhile, Adam was having an internal battle. He spoke the truth, he did think Kim wearing his clothes was cute as hell, but morally, he knew he shouldn't be thinking such things, he was supposed to be over her, he was supposed to be with Hailey, he definitely should not be complimenting Kim or checking her out. He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the thoughts in his mind, failing miserably, and kept chewing on his macarroni.

However, when he heard Kim giggle at the scene where Deadpool was in the taxi, all the thoughts vanished from his head. He peeked at her out of the corner of his eyes, she was radiating happiness, she had already eaten all her food, and now she was just giggling away. Watching her like this made his insides warm and fuzzy, a small smile erupted on his lips. She caught his gaze and smiled back briefly, her eyes crinkling slightly, and turned back at the TV.

As Adam finished his plate, Kim stood up and took sips of her water, grabbed her plate and motioned Adam to stack his on top of hers. "You didn't have to, but thanks." He grinned, doing as she instructed with her eyes. After handing her his plate, she rolled her eyes. "Oh please Adam, it's the least I could do, you didn't have to come here and stay with me, nonetheless cheer me up. So, I should be the one saying thank you. And I am. Thank you, Adam, I truly appreciate you." She gave him a brilliant smile, showing off her pearly whites. "Of course, you know I'll always be here for you." He smiled. She flashed him yet another smile, though he could detect sadness in her warm eyes, but he didn't have time to keep observing as she nodded thankfully and began walking to the kitchen.

Adam was so relieved she was smiling again, eating, being herself, he would stay as long as she'd let him to keep distracting her and to take her mind off things. He gulped down a bit of his water, he had to admit that was some good mac n' cheese. He could hear the water from the sink running, and he faintly heard what sounded like Kim humming. Was it possible to feel relief beyond relief?

As he set the glass down once more, he felt his phone vibrating for the first time in the whole night. He took it out quickly when he realized it was a call, he looked at the name on the phone and froze. Hailey.

He took a deep breath, stood up and told Kim, "Hey I gotta take a call, I'm gonna pause the movie but I'll be right back!" He paused the movie and raced towards the bathroom, just as Kim had made her way back to the living room and replied back an "Okay!". She frowned slightly, worried for him, but shook it away. He's Adam, if anything was up, he'd tell her. 'Oh yeah, just like he told you he was seeing Hailey?' Her mind shot back at her bitterly, making her let out a frustrated sigh. She plopped back down on the sofa, arms crossed, head laid back, and waited for Adam to return.

~~~~~~~~~

Adam rushed into the bathroom, locked the door behind him and raised the phone to eye level. He had missed one call, but the phone was already vibrating in his hands. He hit the answer button, raising his cel to his ear. "... Hello?"

"Adam, where the hell are you?! It's past midnight!" 'So much for a hello,' Adam thought bitterly, he could already feel his ears becoming sore.

"I'm at Kim's place, Hailey. I told you I was coming here." He tried to keep his temper down, the last thing he needed was another fight.

"Oh great, and here I thought you cared more about our relationship than kissing up to your ex-fiancée's ass." He could practically hear the eye roll.

"Hailey stop, you have to right to speak of her like that. She's supposed to be your friend for fucks sakes!" He whispered harshly.

"Friend or not, it pisses me off that you'd rather kiss up to her than to spend time with me."

"I'm not kissing up to her! Is being there for a friend a crime or something? It pisses you off it's Kim, isn't it? Because if this shit happened to Kevin or Antonio or Jay, and I was there for them, hell, even you would go with me to give some support. But since it's Kim, it angers you. Why? Because I was gonna marry her? Please don't tell me you're insecure or jealous."

"I'm anything but jealous, I'm angry! We were supposed to go out tonight, and you blew me off for her?! Yeah okay a guy she knew died, but the fact you prioritize a supposed friend over your girlfriend is shitty as hell. Yeah, if it were the guys I'd totally understand, but someone you used to love? Never in a million years."

"Hailey, I'm sorry I forgot but can you not understand the circumstances? Do I need to keep repeating myself?! We can reschedule to go out again any damn time, but she needs someone and that someone is currently me, I've been able to make her happy for the first time since this whole shit started, and I'll be damned if I let your little jealousy fit cloud my judgement on what I should be doing. If this was Jay who was going through this, you'd bend over backwards to make sure he's okay right? That's what I'm doing for Kim right now. I'm staying here for her and that's that, so if you have a problem with it, go cry about how selfish you are to someone who cares, tell them how pissed off you are that I'm there for a friend who lost someone while all you're doing is talking trash about her and can't feel just a bit of sympathy. Like it or not, I care about her Hailey, you're gonna have to live with that."

Silence. For a moment Adam thought she had hung up on him. But then, he heard an intake of breath.

"Okay." Her voice was colder than ice, it sent chills down Adam's spine. "I see clearly now. You care about her more than I thought, more than you think. I denied it, I truly tried to convince myself otherwise, but it's true. You still love her, Adam, whether you realize it or not. I hope she makes you happy." Before Adam could reply, she made one last statement. "I'm breaking up with you, for your sake, for Kim's sakes, for my aching heart in denial. Thanks for everything, Ruzek."

"Hailey wait-!"

The harsh beep indicated she hung up on him. He lowered the phone gently and leaned heavily against the door, he felt empty. He honestly didn't want this to happen, all he wanted was to help Kim feel better. He thought tears would start streaming dowm his face soon, but nothing came, he just stood there numbly. As he stared at his dark socks, he thought maybe this was for the better? He wasn't being exactly a saint, he'd purposely let his eyes roam to certain areas of Kim's body, and when she came out in the hall, she'd taken his breath away. And he actually told her she looked cute in his flannel.

He rubbed his eyes and straightened up, Kim was probably bored out of her mind by now, so he gingerly opened the door and, with a deep intake of breath, headed for the couch.

~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, sorry I took so long, just had a..." He drifted off, not finishing his sentence, as he saw Kim fast asleep on the couch, her head lay against the back of the couch, arms crossed over her gently rising chest, legs limp and slightly spread over the edge of the couch. The light from the TV casted a slight glow over her face, highlighting her rosy cheeks, plump limps and long lashes. She looked so peaceful.

Heart throbbing, Adam quietly approached her slumbering figure, debating whether he should wake her or carry her to her bed. After a few minutes, accompanied by Kim's quiet snores, he took the remote and shut the TV off. He gently slithered one hand under her knees and the other under her back. Once his arms disappeared up to his elbows under her, he brought her up to his upper body as gently as he could. He held still for a second, waiting to see if she had awaken. But when all she did was unconsciously curl into him, making his heart beat even even faster, he set out to her bedroom.

He was thankful the bedroom door was ajar just in the slightest. With his foot, he pushed the door a bit to squeeze through, making sure Kim's legs didn't make contact with the frame. Using the light from the living room, he made his way to her bed, the one they'd shared one too many times.

Kneeling on the soft matress, he placed her down as gently as he could. He snatched a blanket near the end of her bed and covered her with it. He loomed over her and planted his palm on the bed, watching as she twisted and turned for a second, hoping she wouldn't awake. She needed all the rest she could get. Before he could remove himself from her bed, she ended up curling in on his hand and forearm, hugging his arm to her chest. This made Adam sigh, his mind flashing to Hailey's final words on the phone. Was she right? Did he really not realize he still... liked... Kim?

He stared at her for a few minutes. Even in the dark of her bedroom, he could appreciate how beautiful she was. Her hair now significally out of her bun, long strands and curls swirling around her head. Her cheeks were slightly just rosy, her plump lips were slightly parted, her chest was gently rising with every breath she took, and dare he say, this whole her-hugging-his-arm situation was adorable.

He tried to take his arm back, but Kim just hugged his arm closer, furrowing her brows as if asking silently "Why is someone taking away my stuffed bear?" Adam sighed, softly taking hold of her hands and pulling them away. With a bit of effort, his arm was free, and Kim was soon rolling the other way, grasping one of her pillows and hugging that instead, murmuring something incoherently.

He chuckled to himself before straightening up, wandering over to his backpack laying forgotten in a corner of her room. He took off his shirt and peeled off his jeans, leaving him only in his bright red boxer shorts and socks. He kneeled down and folded the clothes, he had already put the clothes he packed away, so he had space to put the clothes he wore in the backpack. However, as he finished up, he realized something. He never asked Kim for a blanket or a pillow. Just then, he got chills. He hadn't realized how cold her appartment was. Fuck.

He mulled over his options, he could either suck it up and sleep on the couch blanket-less, poke around her room for a extra blanket, use the one he put over her or wake her up and ask for one. But that last one would defy the whole point of him carrying her to her bed so she wouldn't wake up, wouldn't it? As he kept thinking, a very small whimper pierced the air. He froze for a second, ears perked at the small sound of rustling sheets. Suddenly, the broken whimper turned to full on screaming. He whipped around, watching as Kim thrashed around wildly in her bed, pillows flying everywhere. He rushed over once he realized she was having a nightmare, almost tripping over his own feet. Once he reached her, he took ahold of her shoulders in an attempt to keep her still. "Kim! Hey, wake up! It's me, Adam! Kim!" He said with a raised voice, trying not to yell.

It was futile, however, as she began to scream. "N-No! Stop! Please don't, I beg of you!" He ended up hugging her close so she would stop thrashing, her voice was raspy and laced with raw emotion, desperation and panic was spewing out of her mouth. "Kim please wake up, you're okay, it's just a dream!" He whispered into her ear, trying to not let how broken her voice sounded get to him. She struggled in his arms, no longer moving about wildly. Instead, she cried out, "No... Adam!" And then her eyes ripped open, she rushed to sit up, but she was met with Adam's bare shoulder.

"A-Adam? " She said brokenly, hot tears spilling over. "Yeah, it's me, it's okay," He said gently, hugging her close, threading his fingers through her hair, "Just a bad dream." And just like that, she broke down, she clung to him tightly, face tucked into his neck as she wracked with sobs. Adam switched between whispering comforting words in her ear, to squeezing her gently, to rubbing circles in her back. But nothing seemed to work, Kim kept crying uncontrollably. Finally, he remembered the words that always used to calm her down.

"It'll be okay, darling."

Immediately, her crying ceased and Adam sighed in relief, glad she finally stopped. Softly, he pulled back and held her at arms length, squeezing her shoulders. He reached over with one hand and turned on the lamp, bringing a much needed clarity to the otherwise dimly lit room. He looked back at Kim, who was now staring at him with watery, red rimmed eyes. "You okay?" He asked, now taking a seat next to her, legs sprawled over the edge of the bed with his hands planted on the matress, while Kim sat quietly, still in shock, legs tucked under her. She sighed and sadly shook her head from side to side. "I had a nightmare..." she trailed off, planting her hands on her thighs.

He chuckled inwardly, staring at the wall. "Yeah, I figured... What did you dream about?" He was met with silence. Maybe it was too soon to ask? He was about to apologize when she began talking. "I... I've been having this dream, about when I found Blair on the alley but... it was different tonight. This time you were there, with me, we were walking into the alley. But, Blair wasn't there. We had our guns drawn, and we had bullet proof vests on too. Anywho, all of a sudden, there was this guy coming at us, I don't know how but he knocked us both down, he got you, he was behind you and he gad his gun pressed against your head. I begged, I pleaded, I-I tried to find a way to shoot him but I couldn't... and then he-he... he shot you..." And thus, fresh teats threatened to spill over her cheeks. Adam looked at her with softened eyes, throwing an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in to his side.

"That why you were yelling my name?" He asked quietly, head tilted to the side, resting on top of Kim's, whose head was tucked in his neck, body pressed against his side. "Yeah... sorry if I scared you." She whispered, now looking at his bare chest. She remained calm, but she was now painfully aware of his body heat, and that he was half naked. Her heart was now racing, cheeks flushed.

"No, it's okay, and hey," He called, using his free hand to gently take hold of her chin and direct her gaze to his eyes, "I'm okay too, see? Nothing's gonna happen to me, cause I know you have my back, right?" He smiled, looking directly into her eyes. She nodded slightly, eyes transfixed on his comforting eyes. "Of course, I'll always have your back," She smiled, "Did you carry me to my bed?" She asked, to which he nodded to. Then, she remembered then how he had called her darling. "Adam... why did you call me darling?" A barely audible whisper. "Cause..." He shrugged, "It always calmed you down." He replied innocently, eyes now roaming from her eyes to her lips. She seemed to have read his mind, because now she was leaning in.

Every single red light that popped into her mind about how wrong this was completely flew out the window the moment they lips met in a soft kiss. She closed her eyes, letting herself drown in the moment, she felt the arm around her shoulders pull her in closer, flush against his body. Her hand found support on his chest, their lips moving feverishly against one another, tongues now entwined and fighting for dominance. A few seconds later, she pulled back, eyes wide and lips shiny and parted just so.

"Adam... what does this mean? What's gonna happen now? I mean, you and Hailey, what are you gonna do? I don't wanna get in between you both. And what does it mean for us? Shit, this was a mistake." Her rant was interrupted by a sudden yawn escaping her lips, she actually felt exhausted right now. Adam looked at her, seeing how droopy her eyes were. "We'll talk about it tommorow, yeah? Let's get you to sleep, you need it." He smiled, but his eyes were full of questions as well. Kim stared at him for second, she was exhausted, she wanted to talk, she needed to know, but she rationalized that there was no use having this talk when she was tired and sleepy as hell. "Okay, tomorrow."

"Tomorrow." He seconded. She nodded, standing up, Adam in tow, and pulled the comforter back as Adam went around the room, picking up the tossed pillows. He turned to Kim as she settled in bed, noting how she scooted to the side and left the space next to her open. She looked at him, then at the space available next to her, then back up at him. Adam raised a brow, a smile threatening to spill. "You know... in case I have another bad dream..." She squeaked out. 'Ah yes, what a marvelous excuse, Burgess. Next time just ask him to protect you from the monsters under your bed.' Her mind said sarcastically. But he took the hint.

He dropped the pillows on the bed and settled in, turning off the lamp before rolling onto his side as Kim covered them both with the comforter. Soon, she moved silently closer to him, to the point she was pressed against his upper body, legs tangled with his, head resting on his bicep, tucked under his chin, hand on his chest. Adam's free hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her in completely.

"Goodnight, Adam." She sighed sleepily. Soon, her body relaxed, he felt her gentle breathing against his chest and stomach.

He kissed the top of her head, staring into nothing. The kiss had left him absolutely breathless and wanting more. Yeah, he'd missed this. The guilt had been present of course, but he couldn't ignore the need he had to feel her lips, he enjoyed this, hell, he loved this. He didn't know how tomorrow would go, he didn't know how Hailey would act around them, he didn't know if she would ever forgive him, he didn't know what they would do or what conversation they'd have. But in this moment, right now, everything just felt right.

"Night, darling."

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I tried my best lmao! Sorry for any mistakes or sloppy writing T_T Hope at least someone enjoyes this, defo will have a second chapter coming!


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